Compassion and the Golden Rule are embraced and affirmed by various religions as the fundamental principals. But religion doesn’t deserve all the credit because nature gave a helping hand. Before human even showed up, compassion had already earned its way to the gene pool.
Biologists have a pretty good idea of how this first happened through kin selection. Kin selection is the evolutionary strategy that favors the reproductive success of an organism’s relatives, even at a cost to the organism’s own survival and reproduction. The underlying motivation for this altruistic behavior is compassion. Compassion is the gene’s way of helping the survival of the species. It’s self-serving at the genetic level.
Compassion is naturally confined in the family, friends and allies. Today in the face of growing diversity that has caused tremendous tension and conflicts, we the human race has collectively come as far as we can with using tolerance as the only guiding virtue. Compassion is a worthy successor to tolerance.
So what is compassion? Compassion is the understanding or empathy for the suffering of others and helping them to come out from the suffering. The etymology of “compassion” is Latin, meaning “co-suffering.” More involved than simple empathy, compassion commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another’s suffering. Even though compassion and suffering are closely linked, it doesn’t always have to be triggered by suffering. Compassion can be proactive. It is kindness, a byproduct of everyday virtue. Curiosity serves as the breeding ground for compassion. Compassion is also generosity, tenderness, forgiveness or the simple act of presence, just showing up.
Pity makes compassion look hollow and fake. Moral outrage and fear block the flow of compassion from one person or nation to the others.
The expansion of moral imagination, the ability to put yourself in the shoes of people in very different circumstances opens the channel to true compassion. We need to be aware that humans tend to deploy moral imagination selectively. It’s easier to apply it for family and friends but not so much for our enemies. I used to be very hard on Jane and Michelle when they did something “crazy”. By exercising moral imagination, I am now much more flexible, understanding and forgiving. After all, I was 17 and 19 once and wild in my mother’s eyes. Why would I deprive them of the right to be young and silly? They both know that mom and dad care about their safety more than anything else. As parents, we have to trust that over the years we’ve given them wings to fly and make sound judgment on their own.
Although compassion makes one feel suffering more intensely, it also allows her to return to her baseline sooner. Being more aware of our body with all its frailty and vulnerability induces more genuine altruism. On the other hand, perfectionism and hiding problems are obstacles to true compassion.
Compassion is rarely a solution, but it’s a sign of deeper reality and possibility. Compassion produces win-win for the giver and the receiver and make this world a more loving and peaceful place to live in. Human survival and continued prosperity depend on our ability to break through the boundaries that confine compassion.
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References made from Robert Wright and Krista Tippett’s TED talks on Compassion